Welcome to Galaxy Brain — a newsletter from Charlie Warzel. You can read what this is all about here. If you like what you see, consider forwarding it to a friend or two. You can also click the button below to subscribe. And if you’ve been reading, consider going to the paid version.
Since it’s a holiday weekend, I’m doing a bit of a crosspost here with my other newsletter, Some Dogs. It’s a blog I write about my dogs, your dogs, any dogs. It’s equal parts silly and soothing. I’m noodling on away to combine Some Dogs into Galaxy Brain while keeping both separate (Substack has sections now, I know…maybe that’s what I’ll do). If, for some reason, you subscribe to both of my newsletters, I’m very sorry for the double email…but it’s a good one.
Hi there. Thanks for stopping by. If you are new here then let me introduce you to Peggy and Steve. You’ve now met the two most important dogs I know. Today is about what happens when the camera shutter is unkind. Let’s all take a deep breath and direct our focus on some dogs for a moment.
Peggy is an extremely photogenic dog. But, a while back, I posted a photo of Peggy that was taken at the wrong moment. Her usually regal visage was replaced by a snaggle-toothed grimace, thanks to shutter speed magic. This cursed photo is one of my favorites because it is so preposterous.
In response, hundreds of people sent me their dogs in equally cursed/compromised positions. What follows is a brief taxonomy of Cursed Dog Pics.
The Black Sheep
There is always one who is sure to ruin the family photo.
The School Picture Day Ruiner
Very similar to the black sheep. Nobody puts Luna in a corner.
The Christmas Card Ruiner
The Surly Pirate
There is no name for this. This photo is sent from Hell.
Some follow-up reporting revealed that our hero was “chewing on a bone... distracted by a doggo out the window. But something about the composition makes it look like our hero has swallowed a deer whole. 11/10 on the Cursed Photo Of A Glorious Beast meter.
Shock and Awe (Or, I’ve Just Seen A Ghost)
It is possible Devo just witnessed an exorcism.
The Renaissance Painting
Hello, good sir.
Sweet, sweet Barlow.
Sometimes you accidentally look like the babadook. It’s not your fault!
The ‘Phone Home’
No god. Only Zuul.
The Netflix Objector
He hates your algorithm.
The Vet Indignity
Honestly, I think this just looks distinguished, tbh.
Duster is stoned in this one…so we don’t blame him.
Ok! That’s it! Let me know if you absolutely hated this Some Dogs/Galaxy Brain crossover or if you loved it or what. Again, I’m trying to figure out a way to do both of these but not spam peoples’ inboxes. Any ideas welcome. Now go out there and enjoy your long weekend!